Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Atheists--Think Twice!

I recently heard a group of atheists offered to take care of Christians' pets after the rapture. Bless your heart, that's sweet, but in our case you may want to think twice.

Our dog is bad. As the saying goes, Trouble with a capital T. The Bart Simpson of the canine world, and this is no exaggeration. A typical Jack Russell Terrier, he enjoys...no, he revels in mischief, especially when you don't give him what he wants. Fail to open the door when he gets lonely and wants to come inside? He'll sit in the backyard, stare at the house, and scream. Seriously, scream! It sounds like someone is killing him.

Choose not to give him a goody when he wants one? He'll scratch on the pantry door. Pull your sweater or a tablecloth with his teeth. Knock over the paper shredder, laundry basket, small pieces of furniture, and the garbage can. Drag something to his lair (beneath the coffee table). And if it's something from the garbage can, even better!

In addition to bad, he's territorial. That's great if your life is in danger, but if he decides something is his, he'll fight you for it, or drag it to the aforementioned lair.

Did I mention the shedding? Oh my. He has a "broken coat". His hair is wiry, long in the front (think lion's mane) and short in the back. He sheds—period, but he sheds worse if he gets annoyed, stressed, or scared. Make him mad? Poof! You might as well fetch the vacuum, which, by the way, will break after his hair clogs the motor.

That isn't half of the story. So why do we keep him? Because we bought him. We took responsibility for his life without fully researching the breed, and because he'll die if we don't. Few put up with a Jack Russell's antics. A quick glance at the local pound proves that.

But we also keep him because, at times, he pours on the cute. When he's in a good mood, he displays a silliness that would melt the blackest of hearts. He barks at ceiling fans, stares at my husband, attempts to follow me around the house, which tends to exhaust him. He loves pink, and he sleeps in a pink laundry basket that he commandeered. He guards our property and our lives, and he conks out at nine pm. How could we possibly part with that?

So thank you for the offer. As you can see, if the rapture does occur during our lifetime—or rather, during my dog's—you'll have quite a little bundle on your hands. Considering the energy involved caring for him, it's a sacrifice for sure. No worries, though, I won't be sending over his dog food and blankie anytime soon. Jesus made it clear we're to focus on the here and now, not on what's to come. Tending, caring, helping, feeding. And with so much pain and hunger in the world, there's plenty to keep us all busy.

...you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come....They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation."...But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -Peter

No comments: